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deviantART

 
About Me Member Self-proclaimed Genius MereSoul13/Female/New Zealand Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Statistics 13 Deviations
637 Comments
1,775 Pageviews

No one is here

Mon Jul 30, 2007, 12:40 AM
I am all alone. I want to talk to someone but there is no one to talk to. I should have a back-up plan. I need something to do. I will go do nothing.

  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: nothing
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: whtevr

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Nelson
  • Interests: Writing, reading, drawing
  • Favourite band or musician: Steven Lynch
  • Favourite genre of music: Comedy and rock
  • MP3 player of choice: ipod shuffle
  • Favourite game: Pokemon
  • Favourite cartoon character: Could I say Sirius Black? If not him, Bakaura from Yu-Gi-Oh

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Comments


Olivia.
I see you every morning at the bus stop. Every morning. And it breaks my heart a little more each time. Why do we act like strangers? Why do we pretend not to know each other? Why are we ignored by each other? I don't know why you ignore me. I know why I ignore you though. Because I'm scared you don't want to know me anymore. Maybe you don't know me. Maybe you've actually forgotten who I am. Maybe.

I remember how I used to always see you at the bus stop at the 4 square, and it was the same. We wouldn't talk. I'd just look over at you, wishing you'd come over and hug me and tell me it's ok. When I see you at the bus stop in town I still hope you'll do the same. I wish you still cared about me. I wish I had the guts to tell you how much you mean to me, to your face. I can't though. And I'm so sorry for how weak I am. If I was stronger, I'd have already tried.

Olivia. I know you probably won't ever read this. But I think I have an idea about how I could get you to. I see you every morning. And I have approximately 5 seconds to get to you before your friend from my school does. I know 5 seconds isn't much. But I'm hoping it's enough to do what I want to.

Your old friends have been posting comments on here ever since you left. I want you to read them. Or at least get them and know people care without reading them if you don't want to read them. I think I'll print all these off. And give them to you one morning. When I'm brave enough to.

Or I could just get your friend to give them to you for me. Although I doubt she'd want to help me.

You are an amazing person Olivia. I remember back when I first met you at primary school. I remember being in GATE together. I remember how we ended up going to different intermediates and I thought I'd never see you again. Except I use to see you at those softball games. I never had the guts to go over and talk to you and I think you thought I hated you. I've never hated you.
I remember when you got moved into the extension class. I had seen you around school and was missing your company, then just like magic you got moved into our class and we became friends again. Then more than friends. It was so strange because I never thought I could be that close to you. But I was. And I threw it away. I'm sorry. I know I hurt your feelings. I know I influenced you into starting to harm yourself. I watched you get sadder and sadder. I felt like it was all my fault. I felt so bad but couldn't express how I felt. I have trouble expressing things unless I've written it down. And I didn't write it down. I'm writing it down now because I think you need to read this. I think I need you to read it more though.
I'm sorry for everything bad that's ever happened to you. I'm sorry your parents found out about all that stuff and they moved you away from your friends. I'm sorry your life probably isn't what you'd want it to be. I'm sorry I never said goodbye. I'm sorry I haven't said Hello again either. I'm really sorry. It's tearing me apart seeing you but not knowing you. It hurts me so badly. I have to look down to hide my eyes from yours. I'd stare at you all day if I had the chance. I'd do whatever you wanted if you'd just talk to me again. You'd have to talk first though, because I'm certain I'd just break down and cry even if I tried to say hi. You meant the world to me once, I’d like you to come back and be my world again.

I know you have a new life now with new friends and a new school. But the past isn’t that bad, is it? It wouldn’t hurt to revisit some old things. Like talking to all us old NCG school mates, even if it’s only once and then never again. It would mean so so much for you to just somehow communicate with us again. Most of us never got to say goodbye properly. I feel like you were stolen from us. I feel like I’ve left so much unsaid.

I hope you’ll read this Olivia. And all the other comments that have been left on your deviantART. I love you Olivia McPherson. Always have, always will. :( x o x
You haven't been on here in 77 weeks
But, I still keep praying that you'll come back on.. And come back to us

I'm sorry for all the times I ignored you at the bus stop. I was an idiot, I still am. I should've gone over and talked to you. I wanted to, so badly. But I was scared. I was scared you didn't want to talk to me, or that you had changed and forgotten me, forgotten all of us.

Well, even if you have, we haven't forgotten you. I think about you all the time. Probably too much, but I can't help it. I'm filled with regret. I have a list inside my head that, if it was all written down, would go to the moon and back, it's all the things I regret about you. I regret not ever kissing you. I regret leaving you for Jess. I regret never talking to you after you left, when God knows I had endless opportunities to.

I'm sorry.
I really truly you're happy now.
You deserve to be.
I know that you'll never ever see this. And that saddens me most of all. Because I wish you could see it.
I wish we could go back in time, back to when we were all in 9SI together. Back when we weren't doing all that great, but we had eachother, so we were ok.
Shit man I'm crying. I hate remembering all this cos it makes me so sad, but it's worth remembering, becos it takes me back to a happier place, it takes me back to you.

I love you xxx
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Hun this is Una. I know you will probably never ever read this, but I don't care. I just need to tell you some things.

I miss your face, your hugs, your smile. I miss talking to you. I miss making you laugh. I miss how we used to hang out together at lunchtimes and at interval. I miss how we would sit next to eachother in class and just talk the whole time, rather than do any work. I miss how you used to just stare at me like you really cared. I miss us going out. I loved you Olivia. I still do. I can't stand being without you. I should never have broken up with you just so I could go out with Jess. Jess is nothing compared to you. I shouldn't have let you go. That's not the only thing I regret. I regret spending time with you the last few days you were still at school. We drifted apart then and I really truely wish we hadn't. I want to go back in time and make it so that I never broke up with you.
Not being able to see youa dn talk to you now is breaking my heart. Quite literally. Knowing you has been one of the best things in my life. I am so glad I got to meet you. I'll never ever ever forget you. I think about you all the time, and I always will.
If only there was some freak chance that you could read this and see how much I really care. I want to save you. I want you back. I wish there was something I could do to get you back.
I know in my heart there must be a way... I just can't think of what it is =[

I have to go now darling, I love you and always will. I miss you sooo so sooooo much. I hope we will meet again someday and everything will be like it always was. Goodbye my love... You will be in my dreams xxxxxxx
:(

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I miss you Olivia T__T

- "You call that a knife? THIS is a knife!"
- "That's a spoon"
- "Oh! I see you've played knifey-spooney before!"
COME BAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

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:cry: I miss you Olivia... :cry:

Sick of black? Join ~the-pink-parade! (and you can join if you're not sick of black too!)
I miss you so much. I should stay away from your DA account coz it makes me all sad and teary and emo and stuff, coz it's the only thing left that has anything to do with you, and i feel like such a loser. I miss you. I wonder if you miss me. I will send you a letter... When i can find an envelope.

I'm gonna go be sad somewhere else now. I hope i will see you soon. :heart:

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:cry: I miss you Olivia... :cry:

Sick of black? Join ~the-pink-parade! (and you can join if you're not sick of black too!)
COME BACK!! We all miss you dreadfully(especially lizzi)
There is no actual point in writing this but hey if there is ever a chance lady luck will let you on a computer then you can see how much we all miss you. Just come back to us, alright dear.:yoda:

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